The Chappaqua Library

Listed below are some resources to help cope with tragedy in our lives.

We'll start with materials for children. In addition to the books listed below, here are some links to helpful websites:

Click here for Save the Children's tips for helping children cope

Click here and here for advice from the National Association of School Psychologists.

Further down the list are materials for teens, and then adults.

These are general titles; a librarian would be able to help you find books about more specific issues -- just ask.

We're here to help.

"Sometimes bad things happen in the world. But there will always be good things in the world, too. You are one of those good things."With simple language and a heart-felt message, Andrea Patel addresses a timely and timeless question: What can you do when bad things happen? "Whatever we as teachers, and as adults, can offer the children-and each other-in the way of reassurance, and hope, and optimism, can only help heal us all." -author, Andrea Patel …More

A pet . . . a friend . . . or a relative dies, and it must be explained to a child. This sensitive book is a useful tool in explaining to children that death is a part of life and that, eventually, all living things reach the end of their own special lifetimes. …More

Loaded with positive, life-affirming advice for coping with loss as a child, this guide tells children what they need to know after a loss--that the world is still safe; life is good; and hurting hearts do mend. …More

An art therapy and activity book for children coping with death. Sensitive exercises address all the questions children may have during this emotional and troubling crisis. Children are encouraged to express in pictures what they are often incapable of expressing in words.

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This classic, step-by-step guide to talking about death, separation, and loss with children and teens features timely new material on dealing with trauma, addressing violence in schools, and helping grandparents cope as caregivers.
Many children's lives are touched by a serious illness within their families, and some will be faced with the loss of a parent or grandparent, or the death of a sibling or beloved pet. How can adults help young people cope with these losses? How do they explain and console in language that a child can understand?
Now in its fourth edition, this classic guide includes an expanded quick-reference Crisis Section with conversation scripts and up-to-date resources including websites, publications, and support groups.

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Dr. William Kroen offers sound advice, comfort and compassion to any adult helping a child cope with death. Weaving in anecdotes about real children and their families, he explains how children from infancy through age 18 perceive and react to death and offers suggestions for how to respond to children at different ages and stages. Specific strategies are offered to guide and support them through the grieving process. …More

Explaining death to a child is one of the most difficult tasks a parent or other relative faces. The Grieving Child now provides much-needed guidance, covering such areas as visiting the seriously ill or dying, especially difficult situations, including suicide and murder, attending a funeral, and the role religion can play. …More

There are many traumatic experiences that cause a child to become scared - from divorce to the death of a loved one, from natural disasters to abuse. Even a disturbing news event that a child only sees on television or hears about but does not experience, such as the Oklahoma City bombing or the classroom massacre in Scotland, can make a child fearful or sad. Here are detailed instructions, based on professional techniques, to encourage kids of any age - from toddler to teenager - to reveal their feelings through words, drawings, and role playing with step-by-step advice for reassuring them and helping them let go of their fear.

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You might need resources for working with groups of children:

Good Grief: Helping Groups of Children Cope When a Friend Dies by Sandra Sutherland Fox

J Parent 155.9 F

And for Teens:

The loss of a loved one can be a traumatic experience for a teenager, who may be especially unprepared for such a loss so early in life. This book gives examples of such losses and shows how teens, with help from supportive adults, are able to overcome their grief and resume normal lives.

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Everything You Need to Know About Grieving by Karen Spies

YA 155.937 SPIES

And for Adults:

Designed specifically for those who have lost someone through death and are in deep emotional pain, this book provides a series of signposts by which readers may find their own path to a new life. (Practical Life) …More

BookPage Notable Title

Prize-winning journalist Ripley illuminates how humans function--or don't--in the first moments of catastrophe. Deconstructing in vivid detail some of the world's most harrowing catastrophes, Ripley reveals the three stages of disaster response. 8-page full-color insert. …More